Guerilla coffeehouse

Earlier tonight, I was sitting @ my favorite coffee haunt w/a friend. It was pretty busy, something we're used to on Cape Cod in the summertime. We were quietly working on our laptops @ a table, when suddenly an employee (someone we both know) came up to us & said,

"John, can you get up & move to the counter?"

"Ummm okay," I replied, kind of perplexed.

"There's a couple who are complaining that you're taking up the tables when you should be up there instead," she explained.

My friend Chris & I looked @ eachother w/blank stares. We then looked @ the counter space: not a single open seat - all taken. Suddenly, the table next to us opened up. The elderly couple who had complained sat down. The woman, glaring @ Chris, started cackling something like:

"You two shouldn't be in here computering. This is a restaurant, not an office. You're taking up all the tables & chairs w/your computers."

Then her husband said, "The girl asked you to move."

I just shook my head.

Chris asked, "Where are you (both) from?"

"Brewster," she curtly answered.

He said, "I've been using my computer in here for three years, & nobody's ever told me to get off it or leave before."

She started to mumble something else, but then stopped.

Please keep in mind these two were clearly snowbirds, wealthy retirees who summer on the Cape & winter in Florida. Basically, they have money to burn. While here, such people (along w/almost everyone f/CT), act like they own the Cape. This is simply not true.

These people firmly believe their shit doesn't stink. In actuality, it fucking reeks.

I was amazed @ their lack of common respect during the whole incident. Plus, their pack of Republican cronies all came over to join them shortly afterwards. Then, they all sat around complaining about the price of someone's cup of coffee: $1.75. Ten minutes was spent debating whether that amount was legitimate or not. The stingiest of the stingy. It was ridiculous.

Now, I'm not one to judge people (for the most part), but these assholes were begging for it. They essentially held imaginary ownership of the cafe, the people inside it & everything else on our beloved little peninsula. Now, I used to work @ a chain store called the Christmas Tree Shops a long time ago - some may recognize it. They sell all kinds of crazy housewares & gifts like wicker furniture, lamps, hummels, dried flowers, etc. for ultra-cheap.

We'd often get uppity Connecticut pricks who came in expecting you to serve on them hand & foot. Their demeanor was inconscienable. They didn't think twice about asking us to load a piece of heavy furniture in the car, carry their shopping bags, give them handjobs, whatever they wanted. They were legends in their own minds, & deserved all kinds of impossible respect as such.

Those fuckers can all kiss my ass.

They have no business demanding the royal treatment with such bad attitudes towards the working people who call Cape Cod home. If you want respect, you have give it. If you won't, you don't deserve it.

Chris & I are locals. We come to the cafe every day, year in & year out. We're regulars & basically know all the staff on a first name basis. We're also friends w/some of them outside of this venue. As paying customers, we have every right to be there...just as much as these tourons clogging our stores, restaurants & roads for three months every summer season do.

One of Chris' favorite sayings is: "I'm not on your vacation."

Don't expect us to pander to your inflated egos - you're all just visitors. We live here. Also, just b/c you own property on the Cape doesn't make you a bona fide Cape Codder. You have to earn that status - which means being respectful to everyone.