Greetings to all. Please forgive the belated nature of this post - I've been very busy the last 4-5 days planning an escape f/my current locale to points south & west. A recent epiphany was that I cannot stay on Cape all winter, pining over someone I have no chance of being with. My emotional & energetic temperament also both fluctuate on a daily basis. This place is no longer a stable foundation for these changes can occur.
It is time to go.
Am leaving for about six weeks...a month in Florida & then two weeks in California afterwards. There perhaps I can regain some semblance of equilibrium & peace after this unrelenting onslaught of fear has passed. Until such time, I am not safe here.
With all these powerful feelings thundering inside, I don't expect anyone else to understand the depth of change occurring. Hell, I can't even comprehend it. What I can say is an elemental shift in my emotional/energetic system is happening.
I'm transforming into someone completely different. And it scares the fuck out of me.
Voices f/long ago are calling me back to something...I don't yet know what.
AJOC will continue, as my PowerBook is traveling w/me on this extended respite. A heartfelt thanks goes out to the few dedicated souls who continue reading these senile ramblings & musings of a lovestruck crystal-wearing idiot. I deeply appreciate your loyalty & truly value your feedback.
Lib & Ang, apologies for not posting the memes yet. I promise to complete them in the next few days.
That is all.
4 comments:
You better come home.
What a good idea! I'd like to go somewhere where the sun is shining and the beaches are warm and inviting. When I get in a rut I try to do something completely different to try to break free. Sometimes it works too! Have a wonderful Christmas and good luck!
Ang: no worries, hon - I'll be back. Six weeks away f/my homebody routine should be quite enough. Plus I'll miss u!!!!
Lib: Thanks - the idea is to remove myself f/a potentially damaging environment 4 a little while. Hopefully it works. Have a great holiday & will talk soon...
The travels shall do you good. A "breath of fresh air" mentally and physically.
Just remember (and I can speak from lots of personal experience), no matter where you are logistically, it's your own head and heart that you live in. You can change everything but that.
Happy holidays Bones. One day at a time is all you can do because it's all you can live.
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