As a result of my recent accident, I got a call f/the insurance company yesterday for a payout on the officially totalled (according to the appraiser) wagon. Check is in the mail, & I get to keep the car. Made out pretty good, considering. Still driving the pimpmobile (damn those seats suck, tho) w/no other real complaints. The gas mileage is really not that bad for a v6.
Downpayment has been made on the blue '92 All-Trac in Lancaster, & plane tix purchased for a puddle jumper between Boston & Philly. My friend Spock & I are heading down there on Nov. 3 for a car buying adventure. And now I'm sitting here wondering what to do w/the rest of this money...oh yeah - paying off taxes. Forgot about that. There may be a little more leftover afterwards. Should probably put it in the bank.
In a brief fever pitch of anticipation about the '92, I actually considered getting some decent rims. Ang (of course) laughed her ass off @ this idea, but it still lingers in my mind. Why not? They wouldn't be huge dubs or anything; just some tasteful 13" alloys to spruce up the car's overall look. I haven't customized anything car-wise for years. Back in the day, Spock & I were full into that crap.
Flashback...
My first vehicle was a '78 Corolla coupe, aptly nicknamed the Banzai Rocket. Visually, this car was a POS - primer grey w/multiple rust holes on one side (can't remember which). They almost looked like bullet holes - figured the car must have been driven down the Ho Chi Minh trail during heavy artillery fire or something. So, first order of business was spicing up the ugly paint job w/blue (spray painted) racing stripes - alright!
They actually came out not bad, considering my general lack of experience in painting anything.
Then we started adding stickers...all kinds of stickers to the back half of the car. Surfing & beach were the general themes of all those applied. I figure the adhesion f/about 150 stickers we put on actually held the Banzai together, as it was pretty goddamn rusty. My Dad & I actually had to pop-rivet a piece of sheetmetal on the drivers side floor underneath the seat b/c of a huge hole there.
Then there were the rear tires - Chuck & Brian LaCross @ Mike's Mobile (2 minutes up the road on 6A) gave me these 60-series Revenger tires that they mounted on my 13" silver spray painted rims. Those things were sick - wide-ass w/thick tread, they actually made the car look like a drag racer wannabe. Especially when matched w/the skinny 155-80-R13 fronts. We also did the Benny's el cheapo self-tint job using squeegees & soapy water. Looked like shit w/air bubbles everywhere, but I didn't care. It just added to the custom effect.
Can't forget the interior additions: a Hurst aluminum shift handle, Grant 3-spoke chrome steering wheel & more electronics than a fucking Radio Shack. Radar detector, scanner, CB, numerous car stereos, amplifiers, EQs, speakers, etc. This vehicle was a rolling car audio experiment. I had speakers jammed underneath the front seats, in the door panels, rear panels, even had a PA speaker running f/the CB inside the engine bay. Bloody ridiculous.
It was all pretty fun, tho. Oh, I can't forget the final external touches: the screw-on chrome exhaust tip & black double wipers w/batwing aerodynamic aids. Those were the icing on my WTC cake. Aaaaand finally the airbrushed tropical palm tree beach scene vanity plate on the front.
Perfect.
So, back to my current (possible) much more subtle & tasteful mod: AR Estrella 13" rims? Anyone? Still pondering it...
BTW, Ang - shut up. I already know what you're gonna say...
10/23/07
Cult of All-Trac, part II
So, some may recall a post I wrote several weeks back about driving to Indiana to trade cars for a Toyota Corolla All-Trac wagon. Obviously, that never happened. Recently, I've been seeking another one of those to replace my '95 in the interim. This time the search has yielded several possibilities:
1. a '92 red automatic in Vermont w/very low mileage (undercarriage is rusty tho). They want $3500 (wayyy the fuck too much).
2. a '91 white automatic in Brockton (ironically the one Tom & I were going to see when we got hit). They want $3000 (again, too expensive).
3. a '91 red automatic in D.C. w/116k miles. This one is a single-owner & actually looks nice, but too far away.
4. a '92 light blue automatic in PA for $1850. This car appears very clean & has 166k miles - more than I'd like, but still very serviceable.
Strangely enough, I can't seem to find any for sale w/a manual transmission. Don't know why, but whatever...
Now, f/all the above candidates, I've settled on the light blue '92 in PA. Talked to the seller several times, made a deposit & am planning to pick it up in about 1.5 weeks. In the meantime, my temporary ride is an '07 Chrysler Sebring (insurance rental). This car is stupidly pimp compared to anything else I've ever driven. Overstuffed cushy seats, v6, remote alarm, super smooth suspension, luxo-baby boomer machine. Weird to be driving such a vehicle compared to what I've always had - barebones utilitarian Japanese wagons.
It'll be kind of shocking to shift gears back to an All-Trac after two weeks in that thing. C'est la vie, I guess. A short flight will be reserved today for the trip to PA, landing in Philly & then am taking the train to the car's actual location. A bit logistically challenging, but not too bad.
That's pretty much the scoop. A review of said vehicle will be posted soon after purchase here, so stay tuned.
I know nobody really cares, but WTF - it's @ least brain fodder, right?
1. a '92 red automatic in Vermont w/very low mileage (undercarriage is rusty tho). They want $3500 (wayyy the fuck too much).
2. a '91 white automatic in Brockton (ironically the one Tom & I were going to see when we got hit). They want $3000 (again, too expensive).
3. a '91 red automatic in D.C. w/116k miles. This one is a single-owner & actually looks nice, but too far away.
4. a '92 light blue automatic in PA for $1850. This car appears very clean & has 166k miles - more than I'd like, but still very serviceable.
Strangely enough, I can't seem to find any for sale w/a manual transmission. Don't know why, but whatever...
Now, f/all the above candidates, I've settled on the light blue '92 in PA. Talked to the seller several times, made a deposit & am planning to pick it up in about 1.5 weeks. In the meantime, my temporary ride is an '07 Chrysler Sebring (insurance rental). This car is stupidly pimp compared to anything else I've ever driven. Overstuffed cushy seats, v6, remote alarm, super smooth suspension, luxo-baby boomer machine. Weird to be driving such a vehicle compared to what I've always had - barebones utilitarian Japanese wagons.
It'll be kind of shocking to shift gears back to an All-Trac after two weeks in that thing. C'est la vie, I guess. A short flight will be reserved today for the trip to PA, landing in Philly & then am taking the train to the car's actual location. A bit logistically challenging, but not too bad.
That's pretty much the scoop. A review of said vehicle will be posted soon after purchase here, so stay tuned.
I know nobody really cares, but WTF - it's @ least brain fodder, right?
10/12/07
Crash
Thursday I was driving in Hanover, MA w/my good friend Tom. We were headed back f/checking out a wholesale crystal distributor in Marshfield. While en route to (ironically) look @ an All-Trac for sale in Brockton, we were rear-ended by a Ford Expedition. Now, keep in mind that I drive a mid-90s Toyota Corolla...not exactly a substantial vehicle in terms of size. The Expedition was going about 25mph & hit my left rear square in the tail light, thrusting us diagonally forward about 30ft or so.
During this involuntary slide, we also managed to graze another poor soul in a Dodge Dakota pickup in the next lane over. After that, we finally stopped directly in front of the intersection. I was in total shock @ this point. Tom was dazed, but seemed a little more cognizant. Tried opening my drivers door - jammed shut. The Expedition's driver came over to check on us, so I rolled down my window & spoke quickly. We all agreed to meet ahead in a parking lot.
Upon rendezvousing there, I noticed two cruisers parked next to a flatbed truck w/a damaged vehicle on top. We then realized they had responded to another accident just minutes before ours. So, all parties involved agreed to talk to an officer & give statements. Afterwards, we parted ways w/eachothers' respective contact info, etc. Surprisingly enough, my car was actually drivable enough to make it home. My first reaction was anger - I was pissed to possibly face enduring another trail by fire full of emotional processing & release again.
Right on cue, the mind started replaying old tapes based in fear & loathing of the original events f/some 10 months before. Suddenly, something clicked: I already knew what to expect. I had experienced this all before. The ego conditioned response then stopped. I became quiet, sensing actual space amidst the minded chaos of thoughts & emotions. It was subtle, but very powerful.
I became Still.
Then I realized something else: I wasn't afraid anymore. The fear that had ravaged me before physically & emotionally was missing. It was like watching yourself read a script, acting out useless ego reactions w/total detachment. Simply put, I was going thru the motions - a vain, useless performance in front of an absent audience.
I'm (finally) beginning to understand that none of this crap makes any true difference. What matters most is rediscovering your true identity @ the deepest level - pure Being in the present moment. The rest of physical life is essentially frivolous bullshit. Nothing more. I could perceive my own anxiety rising over a situation which offered very little real control. There was no influence here beyond taking any available logistical action to affect the outcome. The rest is up to Life Intelligence.
It's funny...I remember reading about these tenets of Presence in Eckhart's books before, but never actively applied them until now. This accident was the perfect opportunity to practice, without even trying. What a gift.
Anyway, I am indeed doing everything possible to facilitate a speedy & favorable outcome w/in the whole post-crash insurance process. The rest is up to the Universe.
All I ever need to do is Be.
During this involuntary slide, we also managed to graze another poor soul in a Dodge Dakota pickup in the next lane over. After that, we finally stopped directly in front of the intersection. I was in total shock @ this point. Tom was dazed, but seemed a little more cognizant. Tried opening my drivers door - jammed shut. The Expedition's driver came over to check on us, so I rolled down my window & spoke quickly. We all agreed to meet ahead in a parking lot.
Upon rendezvousing there, I noticed two cruisers parked next to a flatbed truck w/a damaged vehicle on top. We then realized they had responded to another accident just minutes before ours. So, all parties involved agreed to talk to an officer & give statements. Afterwards, we parted ways w/eachothers' respective contact info, etc. Surprisingly enough, my car was actually drivable enough to make it home. My first reaction was anger - I was pissed to possibly face enduring another trail by fire full of emotional processing & release again.
Right on cue, the mind started replaying old tapes based in fear & loathing of the original events f/some 10 months before. Suddenly, something clicked: I already knew what to expect. I had experienced this all before. The ego conditioned response then stopped. I became quiet, sensing actual space amidst the minded chaos of thoughts & emotions. It was subtle, but very powerful.
I became Still.
Then I realized something else: I wasn't afraid anymore. The fear that had ravaged me before physically & emotionally was missing. It was like watching yourself read a script, acting out useless ego reactions w/total detachment. Simply put, I was going thru the motions - a vain, useless performance in front of an absent audience.
I'm (finally) beginning to understand that none of this crap makes any true difference. What matters most is rediscovering your true identity @ the deepest level - pure Being in the present moment. The rest of physical life is essentially frivolous bullshit. Nothing more. I could perceive my own anxiety rising over a situation which offered very little real control. There was no influence here beyond taking any available logistical action to affect the outcome. The rest is up to Life Intelligence.
It's funny...I remember reading about these tenets of Presence in Eckhart's books before, but never actively applied them until now. This accident was the perfect opportunity to practice, without even trying. What a gift.
Anyway, I am indeed doing everything possible to facilitate a speedy & favorable outcome w/in the whole post-crash insurance process. The rest is up to the Universe.
All I ever need to do is Be.
10/6/07
These Honored Dead
My second cousin Zack was killed in military action on 9/29. He served in the army as a paratrooper assigned to the 4th Squadron, 73rd Cavalry Regiment, 4th Brigade Combat Team, Charlie Troop, 82nd Airborne Division. He died f/wounds suffered during small arms fire at Firebase Wilderness in Afghanistan. I hadn't seen him in about 12 years...it was probably @ one of the Tellier family functions in S. Orleans.
I don't remember much about Zack - that was a hell of a long time ago. Though I do recall that he was a genuinely nice kid, & we got along pretty well then. My sisters were much closer to him than I was in the interim. Yesterday, my parents & I visited Falmouth to pay our respects @ the funeral home where an open casket viewing was held.
Many people came, including practically the whole extended family on Dad's side. There was also a strong military contingency present, esp. f/the 82d Airborne Division, including a handicapped soldier Zack had rescued f/a burning Humvee in April '06.
With a deep sense of responsibility for serving his country, Zack enlisted in the army at age 29. In terms of life goals, he had fulfilled many already - graduating f/American University in '98, marrying his high school sweetheart in June '06, etc. He was also an accomplished finish carpenter. In other words, he lived richly. This is something not everyone can claim to have done.
Zack could have been complacent about his patriotic duty & stayed home, living life comfortably & quietly. Instead, he chose to actively participate in the defense of the United States. For this I honor him, saluting his unwavering bravery & courage. The kid is a bona fide bloody hero. Just wish I had gotten the chance to know him better before he was taken away f/us. There isn't much more to say here, but the Gettysburg Adress sums up my sentiments perfectly:
"That from these honored dead we take increased devotion to that cause for which they gave the last full measure of devotion -- that we here highly resolve that these dead shall not have died in vain -- that this nation, under God, shall have a new birth of freedom -- and that government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth."
- Abraham Lincoln
Amen.
That is all.
I don't remember much about Zack - that was a hell of a long time ago. Though I do recall that he was a genuinely nice kid, & we got along pretty well then. My sisters were much closer to him than I was in the interim. Yesterday, my parents & I visited Falmouth to pay our respects @ the funeral home where an open casket viewing was held.
Many people came, including practically the whole extended family on Dad's side. There was also a strong military contingency present, esp. f/the 82d Airborne Division, including a handicapped soldier Zack had rescued f/a burning Humvee in April '06.
With a deep sense of responsibility for serving his country, Zack enlisted in the army at age 29. In terms of life goals, he had fulfilled many already - graduating f/American University in '98, marrying his high school sweetheart in June '06, etc. He was also an accomplished finish carpenter. In other words, he lived richly. This is something not everyone can claim to have done.
Zack could have been complacent about his patriotic duty & stayed home, living life comfortably & quietly. Instead, he chose to actively participate in the defense of the United States. For this I honor him, saluting his unwavering bravery & courage. The kid is a bona fide bloody hero. Just wish I had gotten the chance to know him better before he was taken away f/us. There isn't much more to say here, but the Gettysburg Adress sums up my sentiments perfectly:
"That from these honored dead we take increased devotion to that cause for which they gave the last full measure of devotion -- that we here highly resolve that these dead shall not have died in vain -- that this nation, under God, shall have a new birth of freedom -- and that government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth."
- Abraham Lincoln
Amen.
That is all.
10/2/07
Detachment, part III
Noticed something recently - the more detached I become, the easier it is to remain Present & allow life to just be. This makes perfect sense. Ever since I severed my ego attachment to girl #1, things don't seem to matter so much anymore. The deadly seriousness that before permeated my thoughts is somehow missing.
Is it possible? Am I finally moving past the ego-driven state of constant worry & discontent? The signs seem to (perhaps) indicate this. There is a real sense of space around all these formerly constrictive thoughts & emotions...totally liberating. What's more, seems like I'm actually dwelling somewhere inbetween thought & intent.
Bizarre.
Anyway, fully expected my codependency to kick in after the photo episode on Sat., but it never happened. Guess that pathology is finally retired (about time!). Feels weird to be so completely neutral - kinda like I shouldn't have the breathing room, but do nonetheless. Must be slowly adjusting to perception based in Stillness, rather than ego.
I still totally love girl #1, but now it's almost purely unconditional. That is, lacking the ego components of expectation & emotional addiction (which formerly made me miserable). Such a strange perspective to view things from...
We'll see how long this lasts.
Is it possible? Am I finally moving past the ego-driven state of constant worry & discontent? The signs seem to (perhaps) indicate this. There is a real sense of space around all these formerly constrictive thoughts & emotions...totally liberating. What's more, seems like I'm actually dwelling somewhere inbetween thought & intent.
Bizarre.
Anyway, fully expected my codependency to kick in after the photo episode on Sat., but it never happened. Guess that pathology is finally retired (about time!). Feels weird to be so completely neutral - kinda like I shouldn't have the breathing room, but do nonetheless. Must be slowly adjusting to perception based in Stillness, rather than ego.
I still totally love girl #1, but now it's almost purely unconditional. That is, lacking the ego components of expectation & emotional addiction (which formerly made me miserable). Such a strange perspective to view things from...
We'll see how long this lasts.
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