Carved in stone

My body has been storing much stress lately. Started noticing it the other day while hiking - all over. I'm wrapped up tighter than piano wire right now. This is not something which usually happens (@ least not so intensely). Some release was achieved yesterday thru a massage, but more needs to happen - way more. I won't give creedence to any one thing as the primary cause, but instead cite several contributing factors (in random order):

1. Moving

2. Job hunting

3. GIrl #1

4. Lizzie (residual)

5. Kristin

These combined are slowly turning me to stone. I need to facilitate some kind of equalization, but don't know how...

Am working on preserving a calm environment to alleviate everything, & this seems to help. The worse part about being empathic is your capacity to hold vast quantities of your own & other people's emotional shit unwittingly. Half the time, you don't even realize it's there.

Anyway, sitting in a semi-empty apt. here as today is my cleaning day for the old place. Moved almost all my stuff to the Eastham place in the last two days & am now concentrating on scrubbing, sweeping & mopping myself into oblivion. Good stuff.

Oh, forgot to mention - got kicked out of the healing space this week too. My friend's husband took over the office, summarily ordering me to hand over my key & remove all my paraphenalia @ once. That was fun.

So now I have nowhere permanent to practice CT. More good news.

Guess I'm just pretty much @ the saturation point w/most of this crap. Dunno what will happen next. Everything is so goddamn tenuous, it prolly wouldn't faze me in the least.

Place to live, no job, no healing space & little sanity. This is my life situation. As it is, but what the fuck?

That is all.