Island

The pattern holds - until circumstances mount w/so much pressure that it finally breaks. I've been trapped inside my own emotional prison for so long, it's difficult to remember how to open up again. To allow any kind of space for a seed of love & grace to take root. There is no solace in rational, emotionless protection. My internal security measures are being overridden by the heart.

The part originally taken up by girl #1 has yet to be purged out. This karma needs to be addressed so I can move on. Her past effect was far too extensive to allow any further infiltration into my core.

I have no methodology for achieving this. It's simply a matter of intention & trust, two things which have traditionally eluded me. For the sake of argument, I have begun putting ultimate trust in the Universe for many things, living space, work, sanity, etc. This would be the last life facet released f/my imaginary sense of control.

The process must be a clean break - no more & no less. While it appears simple, the devil lies in the details. So much has been left undone...so many feelings left unsaid, so much unaddressed.

This is the antithesis of closure.

That which I need, I cannot have.

Fucking story of my life.