Sitting here @ the office, waiting for a phone call about work. Shit - here comes fear mode again...will they call, will I be able to make rent next month, will I be able to afford all my other bills, will I end up living in a cardboard box, is the pattern of scarcity/lack really broken, etc.?
This has been my primary nemesis lately.
In the present moment, no fear can exist. That's where I must dwell, & nowhere else. Been a while since I last visited, having been so caught up in such tumultuous life change, pain/loss/emotional bulimia, running a continuous gauntlet of grief/fear/doubt/remorse/anger. Fucked up & unnecessary - all of it.
My operating mode for over 20 years was punishment thru financial stress. This cannot be any longer.
There is no reason be afraid now. I'm doing whatever I feel like & allowing the Universe to provide. Fuck it.
Economic fears be damned...nothing more than by-products of the ego.
I am.
That is all.
4 comments:
(stepping out of the cyber shadows and back into blog-commenting circulation)
Bones, I have a solution for you. Two words. Male prostitute. Fuck your way to financial independence!
LMAO - yeah, if I could convince someone to actually fuck me, it might just work.
Welcome back Jim - good to hear f/you again.
I was gonna suggest the same thing! Either that or unemployment!
A second vote for male prostitution...what kind of image am I actually portraying here?
Had surf lessons the last two days, plus another one scheduled for this afternoon - I'll be okay.
Thanks for your support.
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