Yeah.
Typing this out on the new (to me) $350 PowerBook G4 1.5GHz. Nice machine...glad I finally switched back to a 15.2" screen. Anyway, sitting here w/familiar pangs of worry about health insurance, rent & all that other happy horseshit. What else is new.
It'd really be nice to have some kind of serious financial windfall right now. Maybe I should finally break down & play the lottery. Never was one for gambling - stayed a week in Vegas back in '98 & spent 85 cents on penny/nickel slots @ the Maxim.
Either way, feel as though I'm @ the top of a giant toilet bowl, beginning the gradual whirlpool flush down into god-knows-what. It's like I'm always right on the edge of financial or emotional oblivion, depending on what day it is.
Is anyone else experiencing this recently?
Uncertainty was never my strong point. It's also something I'm now learning how to live w/on a daily basis. All the "peace of mind" fed to us thru advertising by Corporate America is a pipe dream. There is no stability. Everything is in constant flux & won't ever stop changing. Life is unpredictable, no matter how much the ego wants to induce situational coma.
So, how do I resist the urge to simply throw in the towel & apply for a shit job @ Stop & Shop?
Stay in the moment - fuck the rest. No matter how bad things may seem, they really aren't.
Life circumstances = cleverly designed illusion.
That is all.
3 comments:
have you gotten your economic stimulus check yet? we got ours and whoa, hold me back, this might fill up the gas tank a couple of times :D
Heh. Could be worse. You could be paying 8.07 for cigs.
Lib: My economic stimulus check went straight to an outstanding tax balance. Three hundred bucks is nothing to sneeze @, but still won't do much towards $4.16 gas these days.
Anj: Yeah, guess I'm glad the cigarette companies haven't claimed me as one of their countless addictive financial victims. Too much $$$ for the firesticks - not bloody worth it.
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