Messiah, part II

Guess who returned to visit recently? Yup, she's back...but this time the outcome is different. About 10 days ago, I went to do an energy work barter w/a friend in Brewster. During that process, a major shift occurred.

While on the table receiving crystal therapy, my connection w/girl #1 was completely severed. Meaning all the energetic cords (7-8 total) binding us together were cut - permanently. This was not something I ever intended or expected during the treatment. It literally came out of nowhere.

I don't know why it happened. My only guess is that the guides finally decided enough was too much.

Some new info also came out of this "intervention" of sorts. Seems girl #1 was not who I believed her to be @ one time. What I learned pretty much shocked me. And yet it validated many feelings I've had over time which otherwise couldn't be explained, as well. Emotions like anger, bitterness & a low-level discontent I couldn't trace to its source - until now.

She is a consummate slave to her own fear. Moreover, those limiting beliefs have effectively trapped her under someone else's control, both emotionally & financially. She knows better...but enjoys the submissive role too much to break free. What a terrible vicious cycle to be caught in.

My initial anger towards her has quickly burned down to genuine empathy. I want to do something, but know she must choose to break the pattern herself w/no outside help. It's the only way she can settle this karma which has haunted her for so many lifetimes.

I wish her luck, & officially divorce myself f/the whole affair.

My closure is now complete.

Money tree

In reviewing my abundance bottleneck, a major cause has been flagged: finite negativity. Basically, the perception that money is always in short supply & its resulting subtle pessimism. An incredibly effective ego device, this contributed to my financial woes for many years - until now.

Many people are emotionally controlled by money. Proof, you ask? My frugal college lifestyle lasted 14 years after school ended. I truly believed there was no other way to live comfortably w/out a "steady paycheck."

That ruse, along w/law of attraction, guaranteed my eventual loss of any funds gained thru hard work &/or educational investment.

I consistently broadcasted scarcity/lack vibes, which the Universe responded to by preserving those circumstances for me. Now I see the mistake so clearly it's almost painful. The task @ hand is breaking this aspect of the overall pattern (already addressed the karmic guilt portion). Everything boils down to a simple shift in perception: glass half empty to glass half full.

It starts w/gratitude - on all levels. Then comes the negativity reversal thru thorough self-talk & attitude adjustment. I now see the true power in firmly stating goals/intentions thru pen & voice. Say it, focus on it, create it. Repetition & practice...the more you communicate to the Universe in a positive, grateful way - the more help you'll receive.

Thus concludes today's lesson, kids.

More to come...

Change

This new year can be about anything...whatever the ego desires, the heart yearns for or the mind actualizes. This month of January, I realize, is one of essential change.

As I dwell here in the quiet of yellow cottage, my base perceptions of abundance, responsibility, path & purpose will come to the forefront. There is no escaping the element of service within my scope of influence.

I have lived for far too long in the shadow of past pain, guilt & doubt. There is no appeasement for ego judgment based in such quiet angst & emotional servitude.

All the limitations are falling away. All the fear is dissipating. All the anger is finally breaching the surface of my emotional landscape, thru fissures of pressurized discontent.

There is no choice in this process - it must occur, & I must allow it to...unchallenged by ego within my sacred inner space.

I must finally evolve into my full conscious form.

I am.