Been extremely distracted lately. Ego's doing a real number on my focus & concentration. Tangents, OCD, the whole nine yards...total pain in the ass.
Today I've finally regained some ground. Enough is too much. This useless thought treadmill I've logged ten thousand miles on over the last two weeks is officially sabotaged. How, you may ask?
Last night I surrendered all ego control to the Universe.
Sounds kinda stupid, right?
It's not.
A deeper knowing exists which goes beyond the thinking mind. It's called Life Intelligence. I simply substituted that for the ego madness of imaginary control. Looking around me now, I notice a lack of real physical clutter. The mind now demands a similar sort of maintenance. Been strictly eliminating excess crap on the physical & emotional level for a while - now it's time for the mental.
The first step is acknowledging that everything is exactly as it should be. Secondly, I must recognize the intrinsic utility & value of my current possessions to stop the incessant ego obsession of upgrading. Third, I need to stop any habitual nervous activities & just leave everything the hell alone.
This is my process.
Let's hope it works.
That is all.
4/24/09
4/4/09
Release
Some things are better left alone.
Case in point: my "karmic option" to help girl #1. The whole thing was a lie - a story created to suck me back into that vicious cycle again. She programmed the crystal, gave it to me, & I fell under her spell almost immediately.
These events happened a long time ago.
Now I understand her modus operandi f/day one. This is a deception stone, designed to cloud someone's judgment & weaken their will for the purpose of manipulation/control. A cold, calculated weapon for betrayal & sabotage. Words cannot describe my reaction upon discovering its true purpose.
It's also gone.
I cast it into the ocean earlier today. It represented the last vestige of her influence on me, karma or otherwise. That act symbolizes my final release f/this energy altogether. Returning the crystal to its liquid form also completes a long cycle of emotional death & renewal.
She's all on her own.
Case in point: my "karmic option" to help girl #1. The whole thing was a lie - a story created to suck me back into that vicious cycle again. She programmed the crystal, gave it to me, & I fell under her spell almost immediately.
These events happened a long time ago.
Now I understand her modus operandi f/day one. This is a deception stone, designed to cloud someone's judgment & weaken their will for the purpose of manipulation/control. A cold, calculated weapon for betrayal & sabotage. Words cannot describe my reaction upon discovering its true purpose.
It's also gone.
I cast it into the ocean earlier today. It represented the last vestige of her influence on me, karma or otherwise. That act symbolizes my final release f/this energy altogether. Returning the crystal to its liquid form also completes a long cycle of emotional death & renewal.
She's all on her own.
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