Automaton

Recently realized I have some subconscious programming which may very well be sabotaging me. This is related to money & my longstanding difficulty in obtaining/saving any. It most likely pertains to relationships too. The pattern is as follows: I make some progress in either area, then suddenly run into a brick wall.

There isn't a real formula for exposing such underlying negative conditioning. God knows I've attempted every conscious method imaginable w/little or no palpable results. Fact is, it's really too close to me for an effective outcome trying on my own. I need a third party to intervene - someone who can objectively observe, investigate & act accordingly in my best interests.

It's amazing how the ego-identified mind seeks to "protect" us from our true potential thru the use of subtle control like this. What gross manipulation disguised as self-altruism.

Feels like I've been held back since childhood by this shit - time to wipe the subconscious hard drive clean.

I bloody well deserve better.

That is all.

Fear, reprise

Fear -
the greatest enemy

Fear of being alone
of failure
of love
of emotions

of vulnerability
of relationships
of change

Fear of evolution

Fear of spirit,
soul
light
healing
unity
ease
abundance

Fear of giving
(and receiving)

All these,
by-products of the ego

And then, perhaps,
the greatest threat of all

Fear...

of our true selves

Sanctuary

I've just been reminded of how truly valuable silence is. The goal now is to remain as quiet as possible.