the other night i was skyping w/someone, discussing my whole karmic lovers catharsis reincarnation pattern. during that conversation, she made an incredibly astute observation which completely floored me:
girl #1 was not my lover f/all those past lives. it was Lizzie.
this is something i never even considered as a possibility. don't know why, but then it suddenly hit me like a ton of bricks.
Lizzie & i had assumed opposite roles f/our normal forbidden romantic scenario - siblings, of all things. while my brain still can't quite process that, it actually makes perfect emotional & psychic sense.
my memories were all of someone w/blond hair & blue eyes. Lizzie had both. our recurring pattern of tragedy had to end...she chose to break it through self-sacrifice. all my heaviest emotional baggage was tethered to the unresolved karma surrounding that collective past life trauma. this was instantly released when she passed away.
i have nothing more of value to contribute here - her actions speak volumes.
Lizzie, i'm so sorry for not recognizing you sooner. words cannot express my gratitude for such unconditionally selfless sacrifice. i love & miss you interminably.
goodbye...
8/28/10
8/14/10
Insufficient funds
been considering for a while why i've had so little luck making significant money in the life situation, & just realized one of the most important reasons:
i'd rather just be than do.
wait, WTF does that mean?
let me rephrase - i'm much more content resting in a state of Being then constant doing, trying to reach some financial/material goal or logistical ends. i lack ego motivation...a dangerous thing in an ego-driven corporate economy.
so how the hell can i effectively exist in our profit-based society?
the only things necessary are exactly what i feel are worth doing. if i want to handcraft the life situation i deserve, this rule must be followed to the letter. so what is truly necessary? how do i effectively prioritize the importance of one activity compared to another using a spiritual benchmark?
1. do what moves you...whatever you're passionate about
2. do what you feel like doing, not what the mind dictates
now, that's all well & good, but there are still bills to pay, food, gas, rent/mortgage, etc. we all have to deal w/those logistics. the real trick is converting what we love f/a hobby, pastime or passion into a business to subsist on. i've been struggling w/this one for a long time.
another big stumbling block is my lack of monetary motivation.
i don't really care about money - never have.
up until recently, i left everything to chance, sort of floating along @ my own pace, all the while complaining about a lack of funds. now that i've finally become proactive, the business track record remains spotty, but better than before.
so, how to instill more capitalist tendencies w/out shifting to just plain greedy?
imagine how money can be put to good use towards your passion. until now, my primary business goal was servicing others & their creative/business needs. what i never did was fully address mine personally (beyond this blog, Crystal Guidance & Emotional Fissures). this should have always come first...duh.
my true passions remained hidden for a long time, buried underneath heavy layers of pain, guilt & remorse. these have only recently begun to reveal themselves, which is part of my process. now they're finally taking center stage.
as i write here, a cross-country trip plan is formulating to help create content & awareness for Indigenous. Indigenous: the nature/stillness project is my intentional online community dedicated to reconnecting humanity w/Nature. the premise is that we've lost our elemental connection w/the natural world around us, & must reestablish it for physical/spiritual balance.
funding this journey is the next challenge, which i feel can be met successfully if approached f/the proper prospective: gratitude & pure intention.
life is indeed what you make of it. your destiny, your choice...
either way, don't let money stop you f/following your dreams - ever.
that is all.
i'd rather just be than do.
wait, WTF does that mean?
let me rephrase - i'm much more content resting in a state of Being then constant doing, trying to reach some financial/material goal or logistical ends. i lack ego motivation...a dangerous thing in an ego-driven corporate economy.
so how the hell can i effectively exist in our profit-based society?
the only things necessary are exactly what i feel are worth doing. if i want to handcraft the life situation i deserve, this rule must be followed to the letter. so what is truly necessary? how do i effectively prioritize the importance of one activity compared to another using a spiritual benchmark?
1. do what moves you...whatever you're passionate about
2. do what you feel like doing, not what the mind dictates
now, that's all well & good, but there are still bills to pay, food, gas, rent/mortgage, etc. we all have to deal w/those logistics. the real trick is converting what we love f/a hobby, pastime or passion into a business to subsist on. i've been struggling w/this one for a long time.
another big stumbling block is my lack of monetary motivation.
i don't really care about money - never have.
up until recently, i left everything to chance, sort of floating along @ my own pace, all the while complaining about a lack of funds. now that i've finally become proactive, the business track record remains spotty, but better than before.
so, how to instill more capitalist tendencies w/out shifting to just plain greedy?
imagine how money can be put to good use towards your passion. until now, my primary business goal was servicing others & their creative/business needs. what i never did was fully address mine personally (beyond this blog, Crystal Guidance & Emotional Fissures). this should have always come first...duh.
my true passions remained hidden for a long time, buried underneath heavy layers of pain, guilt & remorse. these have only recently begun to reveal themselves, which is part of my process. now they're finally taking center stage.
as i write here, a cross-country trip plan is formulating to help create content & awareness for Indigenous. Indigenous: the nature/stillness project is my intentional online community dedicated to reconnecting humanity w/Nature. the premise is that we've lost our elemental connection w/the natural world around us, & must reestablish it for physical/spiritual balance.
funding this journey is the next challenge, which i feel can be met successfully if approached f/the proper prospective: gratitude & pure intention.
life is indeed what you make of it. your destiny, your choice...
either way, don't let money stop you f/following your dreams - ever.
that is all.
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