Gilligan's curse

last night i had an epiphany of sorts while laying in bed. the reason i've had so much difficulty leaving Cape Cod is b/c my anger connects me to it. conveniently, this resentment became an emotional attachment.

said contempt goes back a long way - about 23 yrs or so. f/the moment we arrived, i suffered more pain, loneliness & depression than anywhere else i ever lived. that's the truth - unfiltered. fucking place has such a harsh & unforgiving energy, it forces all the crap you never wanted to deal w/right in front of your face.

ironically, its lasting gift is an opportunity for intense, emotionally bone-crushing change through such catharsis.

i offer no apologies about my feelings towards the Cape. hell, Paris Island would've been an easier place to grow up. however, it serves no purpose for me to harbor such anger towards this peninsula any longer. that only compounds the situational resistance i've experienced here.

now i'm trying to figure out how the hell to forgive a place (as opposed to a person).

a little help please...?

that is all.

Vanishing act

whenever (read: very soon) i do finally leave this island, nobody will even notice my absence - guaranteed.

Pardon

i stand before
the abyss
staring down
into its darkness

there is no quarter
or clemency granted
from this remorse

my anguish,
a testament
to ultimate
responsibility

actions
never sanctioned
by consciousness,
but instinctually dictated
by circumstances

loneliness
and suffering
are not my fate

closure
lies in forgiveness,
ending a long
sentence of
voluntary suffering

karmic debt paid
sentence served

as passion
slowly reclaims
a once
dormant heart

i feel your warm embrace
and quiet strength

both long since forgotten

love is returning